When I became a stay-at-home dad, I didn’t realize how much it would shape me beyond just being “Dad.” It’s been more than taking care of the day-to-day needs; it’s about learning how to be present, patient, and, most importantly, human. Below are five lessons that have reshaped the way I approach parenting and life.

Patience Is a Muscle That Needs Rest Too

One of the biggest tests of my patience isn’t when things go wrong, but when my kids ask the same question repeatedly, relentlessly, and I have to hold my cool. It’s easy to snap when you’ve already answered “What’s for dinner?” seven times, but the real challenge lies in being able to respond kindly the eighth time. Being patient in these small moments matters because it teaches my kids how to handle frustration and shows them they are being heard.

Just like a muscle, patience can be strained if you don't take time to rest and heal. I’ve learned the importance of communicating with my partner when I need a break, even when it’s hard to admit. We all need that reset, and letting your significant other know when you need to step away is crucial for your well-being and the health of your family. Being a patient parent doesn't mean you never need a break; it just means knowing when to ask for one.

Showing Up is One of the Most Important Things You Can Do

When it comes to parenting, simply showing up is half the battle. Whether it’s physically being there for a school event, listening when your child has a problem, or being emotionally available, showing up matters. Kids notice when you’re present in the moment, and being there when they need you sends a powerful message. It says, "You matter, and I care."

Showing up isn't just about being present for them. It’s also about showing up for yourself. I try to be the kind of parent I’ll be proud to look back on when my kids are grown. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being the best version of yourself, both for them and for you. Some days that means being patient, and other days it just means being there when they need a hug or a cheerleader.

Routines Make Life Smoother (Even If They Don’t Come Naturally)

Routines have been tough for me to stick with. I’ve always been more of a “wing it” kind of guy, flying by the seat of my pants and making things up as I go. But after spending time at home with my kids, I’ve realized just how much easier life can be with a bit of structure. When we follow a routine, everything seems to flow more smoothly from meals to bedtime, and the kids thrive with the predictability.

Having a routine also cuts down on the endless questions like, “When’s dinner?” or “What are we doing today?” Setting consistent mealtimes and bedtime rituals helps manage expectations, which makes everyone’s life a little easier. While I may still have the occasional spontaneous day, I’ve learned that kids appreciate the stability a routine provides, and honestly, I’ve come to appreciate it too.

Quality Time Can Happen at Any Moment

Quality time isn’t always about big events or elaborate activities. It happens in the small, everyday moments. Some of the most meaningful time I spend with my kids comes from the simplest interactions, like making up games while waiting in line or during car rides.

A big thing I’ve noticed is how much my kids enjoy helping with “adult” tasks. My older two love being involved in cooking. They’ll crack eggs, pick out spices, and genuinely want to be part of making dinner (you should check out our recipe for a killer lemon-pepper-cinnamon pork roast). Even my two-year-old wants to get in on the action. She holds the hangers while we fold laundry together. Sure, it takes longer, but she lights up just being involved. It’s in these small, everyday moments that some of the best bonding happens.

Kids Can Teach You to See the World Differently

One of the most surprising things I’ve learned is how much my kids have taught me about slowing down. My two-year-old and I go for walks, and we rarely make it more than two blocks without her stopping to admire a flower, bug, or pile of dirt. At first, it drove me crazy. I’d try to rush her along, thinking we had to get somewhere. But over time, I’ve learned to stop with her and literally smell the roses.

It’s incredible how kids pick up on the little things we adults often overlook. They’ve shown me how to appreciate the beauty in the simplest moments and reminded me that there’s no need to rush through life. These small lessons, taught by tiny hands, have given me a deeper understanding of patience and presence.

Parenting full-time has been both an incredible challenge and a rewarding experience. It’s taught me more about patience, showing up, and embracing the little moments than I ever imagined. Being a stay-at-home dad isn’t just about taking care of my kids. It’s about becoming the kind of person I want them to look up to.