At Home With Dad

Over the past few years, we’ve always tried to keep the kiddos learning through different activities while trying to avoid the over scheduling of kids we see these days. Watching parents serve as personal valets shuttling kids all over town all day every day has always seemed a little out of balance to us.

With that said, we have also felt overwhelmed with four little ones and their activities. We’ve tried to consolidate the activities into one or two options that several of them could do at the same time. Well… That time has come to an end. After watching a recent episode of Obsessed (a spin-off of Intervention on A&E) where two twin girls were always seen as one person rather than individuals, we have decided to fully embrace individuality. (Ok… so maybe that isn’t the only reason for the change, but it does give one pause.)

This summer – and moreso this Fall – the kids will all be in different activities. Faith wants to give gymnastics a go again. She did it when she was three and four on a small scale, but now wants to try the events with more equipment. Nicole is interested in dance, ballet specifically. This is her first try at dance, but she seems like a natural for it. In July, we have her set-up for a Cinderella Workshop at the local dance studio. I’m willing to bet our house that she will love it. Tony is still deciding between Cub Scouts and baseball. He loves the idea of both (and we might just let him try both). Cub Scout uniforms are so exciting to him. Couple the uniform with some fire making and camping and he is out of his mind excited. Which leaves baseball…

Rachel and I have always resisted the baseball. Part of reasoning was that we hate baseball. The other part of the reasoning was simply trying to keep the activities to one or two for the whole family, which left baseball out of the mix. Well, it looks like it might be on the Ritchie radar after all. Tony has always loved baseball. He doesn’t have any idea why, but he has always been drawn to the sport. For Rachel and I, this is the equivalent of having a root canal, but, hey, it’s for the kids.

Dylan is still too young for most options, but will start exploring some things in the coming months as well.

To be very honest, I think we think have been putting our kids in activities that we like. Activities that we wish they would like – if they were only exposed to it we thought. I think this is a common trap for many parents. But, saying it’s a common trap and actually avoiding the trap are two very different things.

The time has come. We’re jumping on board… and, embracing individuality.

I have a problem…

It can be debilitating at times…

This problem keeps me up late some nights…

See, a couple of the kiddos are in a lying phase of life. While all the books say this is just a normal part of the growth process, I instead only see the offense leading towards some type of future jail time.

I know. I know. It is crazy.

But, really, my mind begins to venture down a long and tawdry road that ultimately ends with me pushing my children a letter under a glass window from their wives/children/mother/etc. as they waste away in jail. It is all very rational, I know.

Maybe it is the history involved with my kids. Maybe it is just a fear that nature will ultimately win over nurture in their lives. Maybe I just really need to take a vacation. Who knows?

But, any way you look at it, I hate the lying. When I was a kid, lying brought a pretty severe penalty so I’m sure that plays into my psyche as well. Couple my background with the fact that  most of the biological contributions for my children have spent a fair amount of time in jail and I’ve got a real issue. I’ve started looking in the yellow pages for a good bail bondsman. One or two look like nice guys and seem to respond at any time of night, which I think would be a real asset. I’ve written down their phone numbers.

Hopefully, the kids will pass through this phase and move on to more respectable habits soon. Until then, I’ll just keep these two phone numbers handy. It can’t hurt to keep them here in my nightstand. Just in case…

“If you think you’re too small to have an impact,try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.”

-Johan Bruyneel, Team Astana Manager (aka… Lance Armstrong’s manager)

If you’re like most folks, you take a look at our kids and immediately start doing math in your head. The questions usually start with twins or triplets type inquiries. After these, the other most popular questions revolve around a Daddy Day Care situation or bringing friends to the soccer game – or what have you. Either way… The questions start.

How to answer them? Over the years, I’ve really wrestled with these inquires and approached them with different responses.

• Frustration. At first, I just wanted privacy. Who cares? What does it matter to you? Can I please just check out without the inquisition? These defensive responses were the norm for me for the first year or two. I mean really. I’m just trying to buy four rolls of duck tape and some rope. Is it really your business?

• Avoidance. After the frustration period, I started to just change the subject. After the initial questions started up, I’d just talk about something else totally unrelated. Anything to change to the subject. This period was really just an extension of the frustration period, but, hey, it was a different approach. This style of response only made me look like a jerk, but at this point I honestly didn’t care. In my mind, they were the rude ones. After all, I wasn’t asking them if blue was their natural hair color.

• Surrender. After a couple of years, I gave into the situation at hand and solved their mathematical dilemma with a simple, “They’re all adopted.” The light bulb would go off quickly in their heads. Sometimes they would be embarrassed and realize they were being a little too intrusive with their innocent banter. Other times they would then start a more intimate conversation on “how” we adopted them. (My responses sometimes would get me in trouble, but more on that later.) But, yes, surrender is a much nicer place to live. After realizing that being just another “dude with his kids at the store” wasn’t going to happen, I surrendered to the situation at hand. Yes, all four of my kids are adopted.

See… What complicates my situation is that my oldest child is only 2 weeks older than my next oldest. Who is only 10 months older than the next oldest. Who in turn is two years older than my half-Hispanic youngest child. It is quite the picture.

Adoption was something my wife and I weren’t looking for, but we fell smack into the middle of it. We started as foster parents. After listening to an older gentleman call into a radio show, I was compelled to take action. The older gentleman called in saying people should stop complaining about the world’s problems and do something about it. He mentioned specifically caring for the next generation and helping children that needed homes. I was immediately moved and a few months later overwhelmed beyond my imagination with two beautiful girls.

As the next few years unfolded, my wife and I emerged with four wonderful kids. I hope that we are helping the next generation as the older gentleman mentioned on the radio show. There are days that I wonder… But, I think we’re making a difference.

So, yeah, they’re adopted.